hmmm ♥

You know , each second of silence you give cuts through my heart . Is it too much if I ask you to not exist in my life anymore ? I leave you alone , you call and say stuff that softens my artificially hardened heart ; when I feel like having a friend to talk to ; you keep your silence . ♥

Just came back from the gym . Its the first time not having yuen ling to talk to , but it felt really good focusing , and not thinking about food that much :D

The banana leaf rice lily , chia sing , peter & I had still is in my stomach , I think . :D

Ran an hour straight (dont laugh its an accomplishment since i havent been going to gym much)

, missed my itouch whilst listening to my old creative , feeling the steady rhythm of my heart beat in sync with each song .

As I drew in deep ragged breaths , sweat trickling down my forehead , the adrenaline was something I welcomed and have not felt in a long time .

The pure surge of hormones lifted my spirits to a level it has not reached in a long time , and a smile was forming at the corners of my mouth .

Guys gawking at the speed I was going for a girl and being able to sustain it - trust me , it feels good .

For once .

I wasn't the girl whose heart you smashed into smithereens . I wasn't the girl that lost her self confidence and usual bubbly , friendly self because of the countless criticism you would throw my way to defend yourself . The one , who finds it hard to even completely be her usual wacky self with new friends, to trust them . I wasn't even the girl who could laugh everyday , truly , not hiding behind a shell .

I hate the feeling of keeping my distance from people . Thats not who i am . Or have I been warped into this black hole too long that this is who i am ?

I am a risk taker . At least , that is who I was .

Either way , the exercise was welcome , and for once , for that hour , I did not recall all the empty things you've said to me , or the memories - I've came to believe the lead was a different person altogether . Even when gym was somewhere we had memories in - remember how shocked we were to discover we were all the while in the same gym and belong to the same equestrian club ? Yes , I forgot you .

And everything stressful for that moment .

Staring at the glassy reflection of myself , running forward , running towards that sanctified bliss . Where nothing else mattered but running .

Running towards ?

P/S : sorry for the emotional post . Just had to let it out :D I'm alright . I guess I tend to be a pessimistic person once I am home :D Hmmmmm . Hungry again . Joel Han ! Salted chicken , tomorrow :D

♥ rinn