it's 3 in the morning , and I'm still awake .

You were the perfect distraction - that's what you were :)

And I was too , I figure .

We both have this in common - we're both so worn out by our past memories that we forget how to let go and live .

And we're so blinded by our tiredness that we could not foresee this happening , all over again .

How can you blame one who is in the exact same position as you ?

Only now when you realize where your feelings lie , its too late . Or maybe you realize it later ?

But my God is awesome . You ask why I love my God more than anything in the world - why is that even a question ?

He created me from nothing , molded me - and created all the things and people I love .

When I am at my lowest , he comforts me . He never fails to be there , and guides me onto the right path after every mistake I make .

People often ask how it is possible to start a relationship with a seemingly non-existent God .

Thats where you're wrong . My God is more real than anything that ever existed in this world . Monetary items , temporary feelings - they all fade away but my God doesn't .

How many times has he revealed his love and forgiveness to me ?

I cannot count .

His love for me is more than an illusion - more than any human mind could fathom . The inexplicable joy through all the conflicts that we experience in this earth seems delusional - but for those who have experienced it , it is more real than anything .

Which is why as much as it pains me to let go - I will let go .

And study hard , to be the best I can be . :)

xxx