the girls from MJYF.
What I'm about to list down is somewhat personal, but I feel the need to list them down so I can really see where I go from here. Long term improvements are going to be something less public. These are short term, that produce results relatively fast.
(1) Outward appearances
(a) Body
I don't take good care of my body. I'm not talking about basic hygiene, but eep, maybe slightly more than basic? As I hit my 20s, I realize my skin isn't as supple as it used to be, pimples appear more frequently, I don't lose weight as fast as when i ate twice as much, my hair is always uncombed and messy- you get the picture. From today onwards, I resolve to eat healthier, make sure my nails are even, cleanse tone moisturize, eat more fruits, apply creams, exercise. Ooooh. & masks wont hurt, either.
(b) Dressing
I find myself throwing on the recent buy that I was so proud of - until the next recent buy, too often. I find that I like to wear the easiest and most comfortable item (most likely new) in the laundry pile and be done with it. I'm blessed with more clothes that I can wear. It's time I use them, or discard them. Impressions, like it or not, matter. I'm going to re-evaluate what i wear, and how i look to people.
(c) Personality
A series of unfortunate events have resulted in a massive loss in self confidence. I'm now conscious about everything - and self-demeaning, too. When I interact with people, I wonder how I would be judged. I find myself preferring a coffee in solitude than interacting with people. I was not like that a few years ago. I enjoy being out there. I just might not know how anymore. It's just time I get out of my comfort zone - and instead of being so dependent, I'm going to be independent. I resolve to be more friendly and approachable and stop self-blaming.
(2) Spiritual Life
I've found myself numb. "Maybe if I just feel sorry, it would be okay". I've lost the passion for many things in life, and am striving to find it again. So many questions about humanity and no specific answer leaves one very confused. I find myself just giving up. I know in my heart that God is a real God, who loves me very much.
So many questions and barely any answers - but the unexplainable strong conviction that God is real.
Events have led me to question many things but never the fact that He is real.
Time to really pick up some books on the matter - and stop pushing back a much needed talk with a spiritual mentor.
(3) Academics
I "WAS" smart. No, really, as the people who knew me during the first half of my life. I was brilliant. I never really studied, yet I could absorb facts just by learning it. I could sing amazing grace before I was two and was reading adult level books before I even set foot in primary school. Grades were always perfect and if not, just a few marks shy of perfect.
Then I don't know what happened.
Maybe it was just the combination of boys, clothes, makeup and friends.
The loss of the horrible Hello Kitty glasses and coconut bangs.
I blossomed outwards but shriveled inwards.
So many questions and barely any answers - but the unexplainable strong conviction that God is real.
Events have led me to question many things but never the fact that He is real.
Time to really pick up some books on the matter - and stop pushing back a much needed talk with a spiritual mentor.
(3) Academics
I "WAS" smart. No, really, as the people who knew me during the first half of my life. I was brilliant. I never really studied, yet I could absorb facts just by learning it. I could sing amazing grace before I was two and was reading adult level books before I even set foot in primary school. Grades were always perfect and if not, just a few marks shy of perfect.
Then I don't know what happened.
Maybe it was just the combination of boys, clothes, makeup and friends.
The loss of the horrible Hello Kitty glasses and coconut bangs.
I blossomed outwards but shriveled inwards.
I just finished a paper not long ago. I studied. And it worked. I knew things! Hahaha.
Now I'm going to try and get my grades up - my goal is either a double degree in business & psych - or an MBA straightaway.
(4) Finance
I've been relatively blessed when it comes to financial matters - I'm able to go on impromptu holidays, I have more than enough material things, I have parents who aren't afraid to show they love me, be it with material gifts or spoken affections. I love shopping, I love pretty things as much as the next girl does. However, I'm not one to take my blessings for granted. I appreciate the individuals God has placed around me, and the financial blessings that come my way more often than not. I do indulge myself, but I manage my income pretty well for a person my age, if it were up to me to say.
Now instead of just managing and saving, I think I've come to a next level where investments should be made, even if it has to be minor ones. A trip to thailand is coming up, and im so blessed. A blogshop would be in order, of course. Now I have to put all the eggs God has blessed me with and trade them for bigger eggs, or even chickens. :P
(5) Self-esteem
It would be an understatement to say my self-esteem has decreased over the years. It has plummeted. I get shy when I feel inferior - which is usually around people I deem more intelligent or more attractive than me. The usual comfortableness I exude has been replaced by a shy exterior. It's time I overcome it - independently. I am the me I can be. Failures along the path called life has led me to self-doubt and overanalyze my every action. I aim to find a balance between the two, and be someone I'm comfortable being and proud of.
Now I'm going to try and get my grades up - my goal is either a double degree in business & psych - or an MBA straightaway.
(4) Finance
I've been relatively blessed when it comes to financial matters - I'm able to go on impromptu holidays, I have more than enough material things, I have parents who aren't afraid to show they love me, be it with material gifts or spoken affections. I love shopping, I love pretty things as much as the next girl does. However, I'm not one to take my blessings for granted. I appreciate the individuals God has placed around me, and the financial blessings that come my way more often than not. I do indulge myself, but I manage my income pretty well for a person my age, if it were up to me to say.
Now instead of just managing and saving, I think I've come to a next level where investments should be made, even if it has to be minor ones. A trip to thailand is coming up, and im so blessed. A blogshop would be in order, of course. Now I have to put all the eggs God has blessed me with and trade them for bigger eggs, or even chickens. :P
(5) Self-esteem
It would be an understatement to say my self-esteem has decreased over the years. It has plummeted. I get shy when I feel inferior - which is usually around people I deem more intelligent or more attractive than me. The usual comfortableness I exude has been replaced by a shy exterior. It's time I overcome it - independently. I am the me I can be. Failures along the path called life has led me to self-doubt and overanalyze my every action. I aim to find a balance between the two, and be someone I'm comfortable being and proud of.
What are YOUR goals?
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